Author’s Note: Here it is! Like it, reblog, or message me so I have feedback!
And I’d like to thank my amazing editor you-and-i-fiction for all the help!
Well here we go :’)
“Scout, open the door!” Tarynn called out from the opposite side of my bedroom door.
“No, just let me wallow in my own self pity for once!” I cried out from under the covers of my warm bed.
“Oh, puh-lease. Just open up and stop being a drama queen.” Tarynn says cooly.
Ouch. That hurts. When the only person you have is your “best friend” and even she thinks you’re acting like a fucking fool. Awesome.
“I’m sure you’d be acting the exact same way if Eli dumped you, told you he regretted ever even kissing you, and saw him making out with some fetch ass Barbie bitch.” If that ever happened to Tarynn, she would start World War III. “But you’re right, I’m being way too dramatic,” I add sarcastically.
I here a relentless sigh escape her mouth through the plaster walls.
“Oh god, Scout. I didn’t- I didn’t realize..Can you just let me come in?”
“I suppose.” I say coldly.
I hoist myself up by my arms and trudge over to the door. I unlocked and slowly open it.
“Hi.” I say as I roll my eyes
Her mouth gapes open and her eyes widen.
“You look dreadful.” she exclaims.
“Thanks.” I say and turn my back to her and fall face first on my mattress.
“I’m not letting you mope around this apartment all night.” Tarynn states.
“I’ll do what I want.” I mumble into my pillow.
“Let’s go somewhere! Come on, girls night! What would say “I don’t give a fuck about you” better than going out and showing him for yourself?”
I look up at her with a confused look.
“And where exactly would we go?” I ask.
“They opened up a new club on Times Square, The Attic.”
“That’s a 21 and over club.” I say condescendingly.
“Ah, Scout, Scout, Scout. That is the joy of having a press pass. They won’t card you. Trust me.” she purrs.
She has a point. If I want Josh to care, he has to think I don’t care. What perfect revenge.
“Okay, I guess I’ll go,” I sigh. “But only if you buy the alcohol.” I laugh.
“Oh, don’t even worry. That’s all on me.” Tarynn jokes.
It was only five o’clock at that point so, I decided to work on my story for a little. I was writing a story on the presidential election as a backup story in case one of our feature articles don’t turn out. I haven’t even been published yet. For the past week I have gotten next to no work done. I could lie and say I was busy, but who am I kidding? Obsessing over Josh Hutcherson doesn’t count as being busy. I don’t like that one bit. How Josh has the power to distract me from my work. If I’m ever going to actually get published, I need to not focus on him. He’s just so perfect…
No Scout! Stop it. He’s isn’t worth it. He isn’t worth it. And he never was.
Once the clock strikes 8, I wrap up my story and head to the bathroom to attempt the impossible, actually making myself look pretty. My face is stained with tears, and my eyes are swollen. Nevertheless, I opt for makeup.
I slipped on a black sleeveless dress that hugged my body to above my knees. The neckline and stomach are made out of a see through black netting that encases my body. The back scoops down but my hair covers it almost completely.
I pulled out a pair of Kate Spade New York heels and strapped them on. I think Atticus bought them for me. He and Josh had this unhealthy obsession with women’s shoes. But hey, I’m not complaining. Seeing as I was the only woman in their lives for quite sometime as a teenager. Not anymore, though.
I looked in the mirror and was pleasantly surprised. The swelling of my eyes have decreased rapidly and my face isn’t as blotchy with a layer of foundation covering it. For the first time in a long while, I felt pretty confident with my appearance.
I walked into the living room and my mouth dropped. Tarynn looked stunning in a bright red dress and white peep toe heels. Her straight across bangs flowed perfectly over her forehead, and her eyes were a shocking shade that only the ocean seemed to own.
“Tare, you’re a fucking fox.” I say.
“Not so bad yourself, Abbot. Now I have some ground rules for tonight.”
“Ugh, fine.” I laugh. “What are they?”
“First, no speaking of the word Josh. Second, give me your phone. Now.” Tarynn snaps.
“Why..?” I say clutching my iPhone tightly in my hand.
“Do you really want to wake up tomorrow morning with 22 drunk texts to Josh?”
I stay silent.
“Thought so. Now give it up.”
I hand Tarynn my phone and she grabs it and stuffs it in her purse.
“Anything else?” I sigh.
“Sort of. Don’t let me drink too much. I’m going to be taking care of you so I’d rather not have a hangover tomorrow.”
“Oh, and Scout.” she says.
“What?” I sigh.
“Have fun.” she smiles.
We end up taking a taxi to The Attic. It takes less than 8 minutes, because we don’t live too far away. Tarynn pays the cab driver and we begin to make our way into the hottest club in NYC.
At the door, Tarynn and I showed them our press passes so we didn’t have to pay for admission. Oh, the joys of reporting.
The club was already packed when we got there. And I could see why. The floor was made out of pure marble. Strobe lights and dry ice gave it that stormy feel. There were three stories of the club, a main dance floor, second floor balconies that were being used as bars an lounges, and a VIP room on the third floor.
Tarynn and I make a bee line for the bar. She orders a Sex on the Beach for me, and a beer for herself. I downed my whole drink within minutes and was starting to feel a little hazy. Tarynn ordered me two more and I was definitely on the verge of total incoherence. I didn’t care. I wanted to get wasted as hell. I wanted to forget.
Tarynn and I did shots together and then we made our way out on the dance floor. I just want to let loose and go crazy. I felt so beautiful and the world was so beautiful and all my troubles began to float away. We grinded on the floor and many people joined us. Tarynn was the best person to go to clubs with. She didn’t give two damns about how she acted and she bought me alcohol. Seeing as I was only twenty.
After we grew tired of dancing we decided to grab a seat in one of the lounges. I was still completely muddled from the liquor I drank earlier but I wanted more. Tarynn ordered me a rum and coke, and I contently sipped away. I managed to dig the carton of cigarettes out of my bag and hold one to my lips. I lit the edge and inhaled slowly. Sucking in the happiness. I felt great and everything was great.
The distinct ringing of my phone woke me from my moment of euphoria. Tarynn took it out if her purse and her eyes opened 10x wider than normal.
“I’ll take it, Taaaare.” I slur at her.
“Oh, no don’t worry about it, I’ll be right back, okay?” she says nervously.
“Okaaaaay theeennnn.” I giggle.
After about two seconds I get tired of waiting for her to come back. I press the rest of my cigarette down into the ash tray sitting at the lounge table. I get up and make my way down to the dance floor.
It doesn’t take too long until I get approached by someone. He’s cute, at least, through my drunken haze he is. He starts rubbing up against me and I follow his lead. After about a few minutes of this, he becomes to close for comfort. His body bangs against mine rather than grazes and his breath radiates down my neck. I try to distance myself but he only comes closer. And closer. And closer.
“Hey, doll face. Why don’t you and I get out of here?” he hisses in my ear.
My heart starts pounding out of my chest, and not in the good way.
“Um, I don’t think so,” I spit out.
“Come on, don’t you want a good time?” he breathes down my neck.
A freight train of memories hits me all at once. Only one sticks out completely. It was so long ago…
The party had been going on for nearly three hours and it was still crazy. Atty’s friend Mikal sure knew how to throw a party. After three Four Lokos later, I was trashed. I was dancing like the biggest slew in Hollywood and I frankly couldn’t find a reason to give a damn.
He was blonde, I think. I remember him whispering in my ear if he I wanted to go have some fun upstairs. Through my incoherent mind, I didn’t see a reason to not. He seemed so sweet and gentle, and why not admit it, I was attracted to him.
Boy, was I wrong. That sweet boy that was on the dance floor, turned into a savage in the bedroom, or bathroom in our case.
As soon as I got in there, he ripped my shirt almost in two off my body. He threw me on to the bathroom counter and undid my pants. I was unresponsive through almost the entire act. He only got my underwear to my ankles before he undid his own pants. He grabbed me by my hips and thrust himself into me. His fingernails eventually found their way to my back, digging into my flesh.
I don’t remember it hurting. I felt numb. Paralyzed by fear. Once he was finished with me he glided his tongue and held my throat tightly. He smirked and said, “Thanks, sweetheart.” and left me on the countertop.
I slipped my underwear back on and laid on the tile floor. I cried and cried until I drifted off to sleep, feeling nothing but dirty, scared, and abused.
And that’s when it hit me. Josh said he didn’t trust me, and somewhere in my incoherent mind it all makes sense. I couldn’t forget Josh. That’s not even an option. I just had to show him, show him I was worth his trust. No matter what, I was going to steal this boys heart back. Screw making him jealous. I need him. More than anyone ever needed anyone.
“Don’t you want a good time?” the man repeated into my ear, causing me to shudder as he grips my arm.
“Actually, I don’t. And get your grimy fingers off of me. I don’t care if I’m plastered, I’ll still fucking ruin you.” I spit in his face. The man didn’t seem very big, I could have taken him pretty easily. I was strong for my size. I would easily take down Josh, and even Atty.
“Ah, a feisty one.” he smirks, “Come on babe, I won’t hurt you.” he says as he tightens his grip.
“I have a boyfriend you wanker, now beat it!” I yell. Wait did I just say that? A boyfriend?
“Oh, come on.” he purrs, “I don’t see him around.”
“I think she said beat it.” I hear josh say from behind me. Wait Josh? What the hell is happening to me.
“And who the fuck do you think you are?” the man yells at Josh.
“Her boyfriend, now get the fuck out dude. I don’t want to start shit.” Josh says calmly.
My boyfriend? Now I really think I’m hallucinating.
“Fine,” the man says as he lets go of me, “She’s just a fucking bitch anyways.” he spits.
“I was afraid that you would say something like that.” Josh says calmly as he punches the man in the face. He hits the floor and Josh turns to me.
“Scout, we need to leave, okay?” Josh says as he cups my cheeks in his warm hands.
I nod and he takes my hand and leads me across the dance floor towards one of the emergency exit doors. We quickly scurry into the alley the club is located next to. Josh tightens the grip on my hand and takes me to the main road. I tighten the grip on him as well, scared that if I let go, I’ll lose him forever. Which I very well might.
Just as we can see the blinding lights of Times Square, is when I finally get a good look at Josh. He’s wearing sunglasses despite the darkness and a fedora. He has on a leather jacket and a black v-neck with dark jeans. I can see why all the girls swoon over him.
Josh holds on to my hand tighter as he calls a taxi. Almost immediately a cab pulls over and we pile in.
Josh’s phone sets off a series of bells and he answers it.
“Hey, yeah. “Yeah, I got her. Don’t worry she can just sleepover at my place. Yeah, just get some sleep. Okay, bye.” he hangs up.
“Where are we going?” I finally ask.
“You’re just going to stay at my place tonight. Alright?” He says firmly.
I knit my eyebrows and give him an odd look.
“No, I’m going home. I want to go home.” I say. Josh was not exactly the person I wanted to see the most at the current moment.
“There is no way in hell I’m making Tarynn take care of you when you’re like this. It’s my fault anyways.” He says.
“Maybe, if you weren’t such a prick sometimes.” I slur and let go of his hand.
“Scout, please just stop. You’re making this ten times worse.” he whispers, not wanting the taxi driver to overhear.
“Why did you even help me then?” I yell-whisper.
“You’re my best friend’s sister, I’m obviously going to help you.” He says and crosses his arms boyishly.
I let out a loud laugh. “Ha! Is that what I am to you?” I smirk.
He rolls his eyes at me.
“You’re so drunk, Scout.” he sneers.
We pull up to The Plaza and Josh paid the cab driver. He then gabbed my arm and pulled me quickly inside. A little too quickly.
“What movie star, afraid your girlfriend will see us together? Wouldn’t want to be seen with Atticus’s whore of a sister on the cover of Us, would you?” I scoff.
“Scout, please stop. You have no clue what you’re talking about,” he says quietly.
I roll my eyes at him and begin to walk off in another direction. Everything is fuzzy. So so fuzzy.
“Oh my fucking god.” I hear Josh say and feel an arm wrap around my shoulder and lead me through shiny floors and to a golden door that begins to float up as soon as we are safely inside.
We stayed silent the entire ride up. I could tell he was angry with me, he had no right to be though. I’m old enough to make my own decisions. Hell, I could quit my job and sell paintings on the street and he still wouldn’t have any say over my life.
When we reached his floor he stormed down the hallway to his door. He clicked the door open with a swift movement of his key and held it open for me.
“Come on, I’ll get you new clothes you can borrow.” he said and held out his hand for me to take.
I hesitantly accepted his gesture and we walked down a long hallway past several different rooms that were fit for a king. Or Josh Hutcherson.
We arrived in the most amazing bedroom I’ve ever seen. Or seemed like the most amazing one. The ceilings had paintings of angels encrusted with gold, a stocked mini fridge, a plasma screen television, and from what I could see, a grand walk in closet.
Josh stepped into the closet and grabbed a dress shirt of his and plaid boxers.
“Will this do?” he asks as he hands them over to me.
“Yeah, thanks Joshua.” I say. I remember when I was a little girl Joshua was the only name I would ever call Josh. It seems like multiple eternities ago.
I could feel my stomach feeling queasy. Uh oh.
“Um, where’s the loo?” I ask quickly.
“Right through that door.” he says, “Are you alright?”
I don’t answer him. I drop the clothing in my hand and run to the bathroom. I hardly make it to the toilet before my little bit of dinner I had makes a reappearance.
Josh ran after me and let out a huge sigh when he saw my condition.
“Oh, wonderful.” he says as he grabs my hair pushing it off my forehead and holding it in his steady hands.
After I finish regurgitating my entire stomach, Josh helps me out of my dress. He remains very respectful throughout the whole process. He doesn’t stare, or act uncomfortable. It’s more like a doctor giving an ill patient a checkup rather than a boy who was once in love with you.
Once I’m changed, Josh lends me a spare toothbrush he has. When I’m finally done, I go back to the living room to give Josh some privacy while he gets ready for bed.
I set a throw pillow at the end of the couch and grab a blanket laying on one of his chairs. I settle down on the makeshift bed and close my eyes only to be woken up seconds later.
“You’re not sleeping on my couch.” Josh laughs.
He sits down on the coffee table next to the sofa and brushes the hair from my forehead behind my ears. His fiery expressions from earlier have been replaced by soft and gentle motions. He looked wonderful and kind and so lovely. And I wanted him.
“You’re so handsome.” I whisper to Josh as I slowly trace his facial features with my index finger, making circles on his cheeks and spirals on his forehead. I let my hand linger on his cheek. I slowly start moving in towards his lips and he did mine. Just as our mouths were so close I could feel his heavy breath clash with my own he came to a halt.
“Scout, we can’t.” he whispered, barely audible.
“And why not, Josh?” I ask quietly.
He presses his lips against my forehead and sits up, “Because, you’re drunk. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us”. He smiles at me and holds out his hand again, “Now come on, you’re not sleeping on the couch. I made you stay here, it’s the least I can do.”
I take his hand and he walks me to his bedroom. He throws extra blankets on his king sized bed and tucks me in like a child. He lightly pecks my forehead and whispers, “Good night, Miss Abbot.”
“Wait, Josh, where are you sleeping then?” I ask sheepishly as he starts walking towards the door.
“I’m just going to crash on the couch tonight.” he says as he scratches his head and sighs.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Joshua.” I say, “I don’t need a goddamn king sized bed to myself, just sleep here.”
“No, Scout. It’s okay, really.” he says shyly and looks down.
“We’ve had sleepovers before, stop being a child, I don’t have cooties.” I snap.
He laughs and turns back toward the door. However, instead of walking out the door like I expect he would, he flicks the light off and scurries back my way. I hear him slip under the covers and face my backside. He runs one of his hands through my hair and I turn towards him and grab his hand.
“Good night, Joshua.” I whisper.
“Good night, Scout.” he also whispers.
I squeeze his hand and let go. And like that, I drift off into the first peaceful sleep I’ve had in seven days and counting.
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